They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
