My nipple is on Facebook.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
