Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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