don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
