Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
