What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
