I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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