On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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