So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
My dick has a subreddit
My legs feel like baby dolphins
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
