Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
