We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
