dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
