well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
i am craving dick and cupcakes
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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