Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize