Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
