I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
We need to rekindle our bromance
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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