Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
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