it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
