you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
