i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
