My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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