I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
