I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
