sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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