we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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