Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
