you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
