It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
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