You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
