We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
