you guys were way drunker than both of me
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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