This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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