the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
