how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
