do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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