how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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