party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
