i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I believe in your delicious
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
