Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
It's shark week go big or go home
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
