All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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