Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
