this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
