JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
