do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
