Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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