I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
