I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i think i have two assholes
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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