Yo dont text me then not text me
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
