found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
