is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
