I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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