I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
