My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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