ugly people sure do ruin things
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
