she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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