So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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