I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Randomize
