Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
