R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
